Classmate Contributions to Arcadian

I asked several of my old classmates if they wanted to share their own stories from Prince William County Schools, and only three were willing to write something up for me. They have given me permission to post their stories on my website, and I am so thrilled to share their words with you all.

The Children Are in Danger

By Anonymous

TRIGGER WARNING: phycological child abuse, homophobia, fatphobia, transphobia, depression, drug addiction, alcohol addition, sexual assault, attempted suicide, revenge porn, pedophilia, sexual blackmail, and gun violence 

School is supposed to be a safe haven. A place where you can be yourself. Not worrying about the triumphs of the world. Instead the school system ruined my self esteem, place of belonging, and safety.

Saunders Middle School had to be the worst time of my youth. Teachers constantly judge based on sexuality and identity. Being openly lesbian, changed my perspective the most. Girls constantly think I am hitting on them. Teachers judging me for being into “boy sports”. I made the girls basketball team in 6th grade and decided to never go back to it. My coach only put me in for the required 2 minutes each game. She personally sat every girl down to tell them why they aren’t good enough. As I recall, she fat shamed a girl by calling her slow. We all knew what she meant by that. The same coach refused to use openly transgender kids' correct pronouns. Even making side remarks to other students about how she felt it was wrong. In 8th grade I slipped into a bad depression era. Lost myself and that continued till the end of high school.

Hylton High School was the peak of my drug addiction. Teenagers vaping and smoking weed in the bathrooms. Security allowed students to leave whenever they wanted. Fights were happening everyday. Drugs were being distributed throughout the school day. Some people often came to class high or drunk. It was easy to say yes when the environment provided for you. After I became overweight, I started to get bullied. People calling me ugly and fat. Telling me I downgraded ever since 9th grade.

My best friend since 6th grade raped me my sophomore year. He got me black out drunk and took advantage of me. Even after I said no. It hurt more because I have always trusted him. When I told a certain person about it, rumors went around. People started calling me a whore and looking at me differently. Eventually convincing myself that what happened to me was my fault. I am a lesbian and that was my first time. The “friends” I had at the time still hung out with my rapist. Made me feel like they didn’t believe or care about me. To fit in, I just went along with it. Hung out with him while they were with us. During those times, I would just imagine I was a different person. Or get so fucked up, I’d just forget what happened. This sent me over the edge. Leading to a suicide attempt.

I am not the only person that has gone through this at Hylton. I have heard mixed things about guys drugging girls. Nudes and sex tapes being spread around. Instead of punishing the guys for leaking child pornography, the girls got in trouble. Mainly facing suspensions. “No face, no case” is what I heard some guys say. Our principal didn’t care about his job. Even the counselors and security blew off the people that reached out for help.

Before covid hit, there was a gun that went off in a classroom, almost hitting two students. It took the officers over 3 hours to find the gun. While it was still in the classroom the whole time. Instead of alerting everyone immediately, they still let kids roam the halls to switch classes. No one knew what happened until the end of the day. 11am-1pm is when the gun went off. Some kids were terrified and even spoke out about what happened after the fact. The people that “snitched” about the gun were threatened to be killed by other students. In reality they did the right thing.

Children are being bullied and put in harm's way. Teachers are becoming pedophiles or abusive. Innocent kids are taking their lives, because they feel like that’s the only way. Overdosing on opioids in the bathrooms. Selling and exchanging dangerous items. I am lucky enough to be the strong person I am today and escape the PWCS system.

A Letter to the Younger Me

By K.T.E

TRIGGER WARNING: phycological child abuse and ableism

If anyone has told you that you're weird, I promise you are but in the best way possible. You are careful about how you go about life and you take no shit. You're also pretty funny and you don't sugarcoat how you feel, you just say it like it is. Don't listen to those kids about your hearing loss and health issues. They're just little shits. Don't mind those kids who become annoyed when you raise your hand in class, that sense of curiosity and love for learning will take you a long way in life.

Don't listen to those teachers who tell you bullshit like you can't get a driver's license or who doubt you can go to college. You can...and you did. If they try to limit you on what you can do with your life, don't listen to them. The only limit that exists is the sky so you can do anything you want to...except hear. Whatever they say you can't do, just do it out of spite. You also need to cherish those who don't make you feel like shit just because you have a disability, especially the adults in your life. I know you feel lonely being the only Deaf child at school, but you soon end up finding an entire community of people like you and you end up thriving in it. You'll find your friends who love to be in your company and won't mind all the things that come with living with a disability. You're gonna learn again and again that people suck and it's something you have to learn even though it hurts.

Circle of Sorrow

By Anonymous

TRIGGER WARNING: depression

What is it about humans
that makes us seek out more sadness
when we’re already feeling down?

Why when I’m aching inside,
do I want to watch sad movies
and let the story choke up the air inside my throat?

Why when I fall to pieces
do I put on the saddest music I can find
and let the words dig their jagged nail deep into my heart?

What about my sadness makes me want to cause myself more pain?